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Your Phone May Be Killing Your Sex Life

Sure, cell phones offer brilliant advantages, but they also present users with problems. Chief among them: Making the user overly accessible. Employees tethered to bosses by cell phones report horror stories about being stressed, overworked, and misused. And many a love affair has been killed by wireless technology.

In the beginning of a relationship, it’s tempting to talk to a new love as often as possible. Since most of us carry cell phones, it’s possible to make a call whenever the urge strikes. And therein lies the danger.

Romance thrives on mystery. If you’re on the phone with a new love more than once or twice a day, you’re destroying it. The object of your interest never has to wonder how you’re doing, where you are, or what you’re thinking, because you’re constantly letting him or her know. Before long, your relationship will become as enticing as old cheese. You’ll get bored. Your once-loved one will get extremely bored. You’ll both start looking for excitement elsewhere.

Cell phone sex abuse damages longterm relationships and marriages, too. The husband who calls his wife when he arrives at the office, at lunch, and after he boards the train home may think he’s nurturing the relationship, but he’s killing it. He’s given his wife no chance to miss him. If he wants to call once a day, perhaps on his way home, that’s fine. If he says something like, “It’s been a long day. I can’t wait to see you,” his wife will be thrilled to hear from him.

But he should keep the call short and wait until dinner to share the day’s news. “Storing up” information provokes excitement and mystery. Leaking it via a series of annoying phone calls results in a different reaction. After the phone rings for the fourth time, his wife is likely to moan, “What the hell does he want now?”

Here are two tips to avoid the relationship burn-out that results from cell phone abuse:

Tell the object of your interest that you’ll call at a specific time. Then follow through and keep the call to two minutes, tops. Calling when you say you will fosters trust and intimacy. Keeping it to one or two short calls a day promotes romance, excitement, and mystery.

Tell him or her that you prefer to carry on your relationship in person and not over a wireless connection. If you’re involved with a phone addict, explain that keeping your romance face-to-face means that the NSA will never be privy to the details.

Objects of affection who ignore your pleas to cool it may suffer from control or trust issues. The downside of cell phone technology (as well as text messaging and email) is that it can be tough to distinguish chatterboxes from the emotionally needy and unstable.

Remember, romance and great sex depend on both partners being available to each other– but never too available. Turn off the cell phone and turn up the passion.

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